Yes, he indeed does. Quite literally. He gets a chick - the original teeny fluffy cutie bird that comes out of a hen's egg - that is hot. Some of you might be wondering what chain of events led to this. Okay, so it happened that there's this great Finnish professor, Prof. Toad·waltz who specializes in writing operating systems for computers. When he's not doing that, he's in his private little poutlry farm that he keeps as a hobby. In one breeding season (for hens), a chick hatched with somewhat abnormal body metabolism. She had unusually high average body temperature and found it difficult to survive in the cold Finnish weather. Anxious about his chick's condition and failing to find any local solutions, Prof. Toadwaltz looked up his favourite newsgroup comp.poult.chicks and found this contextually irrelevant but accidentally fortunate post by our Voldy:
"Wanted, Hot Chick. Desperately. Write to: voldy@voldem.com."
Over a couple of email exchanges, Prof. Toadwaltz had Voldy's address and had determined that the climate of Dementia was great for the hot chick to thrive. So he couriered him the hot chick.
We won't get into the shocks and traumas Voldy went through right from when he got the little package, not to forget the horrible stink it had for the chick had no choice but to use the darned box as a bedroom-livingroom-bathroom set. So it's a couple of weeks since then and Voldy is wondering whether to complain to the professor or sue him. But deep deep down inside his decimated cerebral cortex, a series of neural impulses lead him to conclude that it would all come back to him - after all he'd posted on the wrong newsgroup. Besides, he was getting used to the chick and thought a pet wouldn't make his lonely life worse. So that's how the hot chick came to stay along with Voldy. However, Voldy's quest for the mystical hot chick is still on. Lots o' luck, Voldy.
Monday, March 5, 2007
Friday, March 2, 2007
Valleyball
[The National Game of Dementia]
This game uses an average football-sized football and is played between two teams of any size. Each team stands on a cliff on either side of a valley and tries to pass the ball to the other cliff in at most 3 touches. The game also occasionally involves a net. [See note on net below.] When a team is unsuccessful in passing the ball in 3 touches to the other cliff or the ball doesn't reach the said cliff and rolls down into the valley, the opposing team scores a point. A team wins when its score reaches either 73 with the other team at least 6 points behind or 121 with the other team at least 4 points behind. Failing both, scores are reset and the game starts over again. An annual Dementia-wide Valleyball competition is held where teams vie fiercely for the Catas Trophy. It is a significant event in Dementia and a national holiday is declared for the day of the final.
Net: When it rains on cliffs, rainwater trickles down them forming streams and waterfalls and on flatter valleys, collects forming ponds or small lakes. If water supply is perennial, chances are good that acquatic life forms appear and flourish in these water bodies. Chances are also good that neighbouring villagers notice this and try to make a living out of fishing here. While amateurs sit by the edge with fishing rods with plump tasty worms attached to hooks, the more professional ones set up fishing nets to reap in the abundance. When a valleyball drops into the valley, chances again are also good that the ball finds its way into a net. On such occurences, the player of the team sent down to fetch the ball must dive into the lake and rescue the ball risking life and limb. However, with the advent of modern diving gear, these risks have greatly reduced.
This game uses an average football-sized football and is played between two teams of any size. Each team stands on a cliff on either side of a valley and tries to pass the ball to the other cliff in at most 3 touches. The game also occasionally involves a net. [See note on net below.] When a team is unsuccessful in passing the ball in 3 touches to the other cliff or the ball doesn't reach the said cliff and rolls down into the valley, the opposing team scores a point. A team wins when its score reaches either 73 with the other team at least 6 points behind or 121 with the other team at least 4 points behind. Failing both, scores are reset and the game starts over again. An annual Dementia-wide Valleyball competition is held where teams vie fiercely for the Catas Trophy. It is a significant event in Dementia and a national holiday is declared for the day of the final.
Net: When it rains on cliffs, rainwater trickles down them forming streams and waterfalls and on flatter valleys, collects forming ponds or small lakes. If water supply is perennial, chances are good that acquatic life forms appear and flourish in these water bodies. Chances are also good that neighbouring villagers notice this and try to make a living out of fishing here. While amateurs sit by the edge with fishing rods with plump tasty worms attached to hooks, the more professional ones set up fishing nets to reap in the abundance. When a valleyball drops into the valley, chances again are also good that the ball finds its way into a net. On such occurences, the player of the team sent down to fetch the ball must dive into the lake and rescue the ball risking life and limb. However, with the advent of modern diving gear, these risks have greatly reduced.
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